MIT Announces Ramen Encryption Breakthrough!

MIT announced today that they are commercializing a formerly top secret program that uses ramen noodles to encrypt military communications. The project, which had been under-wraps since it’s inception in late 1998 will now be sold to businesses and also foreign governments. The encryption method uses two common items that every soldier has to encrypt radio and computer network traffic: ramen noodles and digital cameras.

“Every ramen pack is unique, the way the noodles flow and twist in the ramen brick provides the perfect unique signature that we can use to encrypt communications,” stated Dr Vinsh Gupta, head of the Communications Lab at MIT. “Soldiers open the ramen brick, take a picture of the noodles, and then we apply our special algorithm to the digital image. It’s been tested with several brands although we prefer Maruchan due to the ease of purchasing it.” “We believe it to be unbreakable,” he added, “nobody has yet been able to generate a similar random pattern with software.”

MIT expects to finalize work on a cell-phone version of the encryption package by Fall of 2008, work that has been difficult due to the low processing power in most cell phones. “It will work on the iPhone first of course,” noted Dr. Gupta.

A spokesman for the U.S. Army confirmed the story but was concerned about this technology falling into the wrong hands, “We’re afraid about the evil-doers getting a hold of ramen noodles.” There is currently no ban on exporting ramen to Axis of Evil countries, although House Representative Marilyn Musgrave (R-Colorado) says she will propose one this year.