Apr 162007
 

I know some people in Concord, I hope this isn’t theirs!

Submitted By: Adam

Submitted From: Concord, CA

All this ingredients can ordered by inmates in the jails in Contra Costa County. When finished inmates call the stuff \”SPREAD\”

    Ingredients

  • Packs Ramen Noodles (spicy chicken is the best)
  • 1 package of cheetos or generic equivalent
  • 1 package of spicy cheetos or generic equivalent
  • 1 Meat Log or 4 of the smaller meat sticks
  • Mayonnaise and tortillas

In jail there are no pots and pans, just a hot water machine, a microwave, small bowls, and garbage bags!

Step 1: The noodles: Smash the packages of noodles into small noodle bits. Take a large garbage bag (a new one) and put the smashed noodle bits inside of it. Fill a pitcher with hot water and put it in the microwave to get it boiling. Pour the boiling water into the bag and tie the bag closed. Let the noodles cook for 10 minutes.

Step 2: The Meat: Tear or cut the meat into small pieces, place all the meat into a bowl, add about a half inch of water and dump all the soup flavoring packets into the bowl. Cook the meat for 3-4 minutes in the microwave.

Step 3: The chips: Smash the bags of chips into dust. You can adjust the ratio of cheesy chips to spicy chips to whatever you like.

Step 4: The Mix: Dump the meat and any juice that is in the bowl into the garbage bag of noodles, Dump the chip dust in as well. Tie the bag back up and mix.

Step 5: Plating” This dish feeds 5 people, it should fill everyones bowl to the top. Use a county issued cup to dish out the spread. Top with a few squirts of mayo and give each person a tortilla.

This stuff makes a good burrito filling. Jail sucks. There are a lot of variations to this recipe of course but this is SPREAD in it’s most simple form. Noodles, chips, meat, mayo.

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  75 Responses to “The Spread — Ramen”

  1. In Maryland we call them HookUps and you don’t have to nuke the noodles just use the hottest water you can get. We used freezer bags!

  2. I don’t know what every ones talking about… disgusting?! (I’ve never been to jail NOR do I ever plan on going) but this sounds absolutely amazing. especially for a burrito filling! put this as a base layer, add some chili, some bacon bits and a little bit of ground beef…

    my god this would be a feast!

  3. read alll of the comments! ive been IN n OUT of jail. none of yall ever metioned the BOILED EGGS!!! tha ts one of the most important ingredients! u need BOILED EGGS IN YOUR SPREAD!!!!!

    ROBERT PRESLEY DETENTION CENTER! SANTA ANA COUNTY JAIL MAIN LINE! BANNING CORRECTIONAL FACILITY! CHINO STATE PRISON!!!

    HOLLA@ ME

  4. damn someone actually put the good ol’ spread on here huh…lmao thats great…

  5. Omg .. lol. Wow super suprise that just about all these spreads are amazing.. I myself am a correctional officer and have made many of these spreads they are amazing!!!

  6. The recipe that I learned throughout jail and prison is ramen and whatever else you have that might add a little flavor to the monotony of what is being served in the chow hall.

  7. Well well where do I start.
    First, I’ve never been to jail. Although the first time I heard about spread was in like 9th grade, the first time I had it was when I was 19 (4 years later or something?) My (ex) made it when I was hungry… At first I was like HELL NO but I was starving so I ate it and other than burning my throat from being spicy, it was delish and I was hooked
    The ways I have it are with cup o noodles or Ramen.. Opps. I mean always with Ramen *looks around*

    I always prefer the beef but my husband’s favorite (yeah, he eats it too) is chili lime shrimp.
    (Mine) I cook in the mic (never been to jail, remember) three minutes sometimes crushed, sometimes noddley… add 1 or 1-1/2 slices american cheese and melt (mind you, there’s very little if any water left in it by now. chop up some sandwhich meat (ham’s the fave) and crush some flavored doritos and sometimes a bit of (hot/not) cheatos. A small spoon or two of mayo, mustard, and tapatio hot sauce. combine and consume!

    My man likes to add all kinds of crazy shit like finely chopped hot pickles and refried beans or nacho cheese or something along those lines. He’s constantly checking the grocery store for dehydrated refried beans. We’re currently still looking. If anyone knows a good place to get them or the brand name please post it here. “We’ll be watching”

  8. Yo this page keeps it real. First off just wanna say for da niggas dat had hot pots and microwaves u guys had it good. In da LA mens central jail aka old county 3000 flor we used hot warter from the dam sink and we had to time it right because if the showers were running the warter wuz luke warm at best none of that fancy twin towerz shit. Any wayz herez my recipiez which i dont think i ceen posted.

    Orange Chiken
    noodles chiken,chilly shit wut eva it gonna b gud ne way
    summer sausage
    lunch meat
    shit prety much wut u want just not cheez or seafood not right for this dish
    chiken and hot pickles and pickle juice mando
    ok dats the noodle part u no wut to do wit dat
    now for the orange “chiken Part”
    bag o pork rinds big bag
    5packs of jelly in to d bag
    and a bit of orange juice and pickle juice
    shake it up
    mix it up and “spread”
    taste just like orange chiken well when ur n jail

    This goes out to da south siders even though i ran other r black cause im asian. u vatos made some dam big spreads and made sure no homie went wit out much respect. and my sureno bunky taught me da tamale wit no ramen just fritos and cornchips n shit bomb as fucking shit.
    for da blacks
    too black too strong
    for aznz
    too azn too proud

    i probaly post some moe shit later on but i leave all who have been locked up with these words we all no jail is hell but we gota stop d violence the cops treat us like animals keep us in cages feed us like dogs ,shit in 3800 we couldent shower unless they let us out our cell(bird baths had to do) but if we act like animals and fight amongst each other who wins in the end ? south siders? blacks? no the pigs because they have suceeded in their goal of making us less than human

  9. o fuck forgot to say mustard(other shit they give u works to it just adds to d slimey ness n eggs lots of eggs
    egg good

  10. 3 packages of ramen noodles
    1 can of spam cut into cubes and fried in a skillet
    1 can of ranch style beans drained

    cook noodles
    drain
    mix in fried, cubed spam
    mix in drained beans

    may be served with a side of doritos or crackers
    or topped with cheese whiz

    it is yuuuuuuuuuuummmmmeeeeeeeeee!

  11. My cousin got out of chino a few weeks back and his recipe was delicious as hell! It was chicken ramen noodles with a little of the juice with crushed up hot cheetos mayo and tapatio. Good sh*t

  12. in wayside i looked forward to saturdays South side spread.. All the vatos and paisas donated their lunch meat, eggs from breakfast also mayo and mustard. MANDO.. if u didnt donate u woulda got broken off.. anywayz we had a hot pot so the vatos poured the hot water w the ramens in a big plastic bag and mixd that shit up.. that shit was the bomb!

  13. I was at salinas valley state prison. my bunkie and our neighbors would spread every nite. we had a huge tupperware bowl w/a lid. for 4 of us we would put in 10 soups. any flavor. 2 big meat logs. some cheese spread. a bag of cactus annie’s hot fries. a cut up hot pickle. (w/the juice. a must).some mayo. cut up jalapeno’s. add 2-3 lge. mugs of hot water. let it cook. 15 to 20 min. if we did it right all the water was consumed by the noodles. no draining req’d. when it’s done remove the lid and mix. after steaming 2 packs of tortilla’s (20 tortilla’s) my bunkie would start making burritto’s. all the burritto’s would be put into ind. bowl’s w/lid’s. now it was time to eat. 4-5 burritto’s each and your full. I read in some of the replie’s that people thought these spread’s sounded “awful” but, let me tell you in prison a meal like this is top of the line. after cleaning all the dishes we would roll a couple of cig’s and relax. as far as prison, it does’nt get any better. please don’t think i’m glamourizing prison life. it sucks. you just try to make it livable while your there. if you have never been don’t go. if you have been don’t return. freedom is priceless.

  14. damn someone actually put the good ol’ spread on here huh…lmao thats great…

  15. This was heaven for me in jail i traded 3 packs of cookies to a inmate for a bag of noodles i waited till like 11 at night when every one was asleep and went in to the bathroom to get hot hot water and but it in a cup and got a handfull of cheetos from a friend and saved a hotdog from dinner mashed it all up in the cup and it was dankkkk omg

    reason why i wait till so late at night is because thats when the water is the hottest when no one is awake using the showers and the toilets

  16. I have tried the county jail recipy when my sons dad was in jail (not with him anymore) but I’m yet to try the prison spread once my boyfriend gets out in 4 months. Lol I seem to attract the bad boys. Spreads are SOOOO deliscious! Honestly 2 me it sounded disgusting but once I tried it, it was the bomb! Seriously! No joke!!!

  17. my brother was in prison and made us this dish at home. At first, i didnt want to try it, but then got enough guts to try it and it was delicious

  18. who ever knocks spreads with out trying them don’t comment……. you just look stupid yaaadiidieeee

  19. look out here in harris county this is how we do it get a smakll bag and put 5 or 6 crushed up soups in it any flavor cut up some bologna and crush up some chips add jalapinos and bologna into the bag with some hot sause then add a pack of chili and some chicken breast if thats what you want start mixing it all up in the bag then flatten the bag out until it looks like a little pizza or burrito whatever you want to make sprinkle the chips on it and cut and put it on tortillas and you got yourself a good ol harris county spread H-TOWN baby

  20. Thiss Iss Thee Bombs Andd Simple:)
    What Youll Need:
    One Packet Top Ramen(Chili Flavor)
    Mayo
    Mustard
    Ziploc Bagg(Sandwich Size Preferred)
    So First Boil Up Water, Whilee Thats Boiling,, Crush Top Ramen (Put Powder Chili Aside) And Place Intoo Ziplocc Bagg..
    After Water Boils, Pour Intoo Ziploc Bag Andd Seal It..Let Top Ramenn Cook.. After You See Its Cooked, Pour Outt Water…Thenn Add The Powder Chili It…. Add Aboutt 2 Teaspoons Of Mayo Andd Pourr Somee Mustardd In Theree…Closee Bag Andd Mix…Make A Little Holee In The Corner And Eat From There…Itss A BOMBB Snackk On Thee Goo:)

  21. i just got out of prison and cant find any hot and spicy corn chips like the cactus annies we had in there does anyone know where i can find anything like them on the outside????

  22. Where I was locked up (Texas) there were 3 basic types of spread. A Chili base, a Beef Stew base (like Dinty Moore) and a Fish/Mayonnaise base. Not being a fan of canned fish I would seldom partake in the fish, but the other two were very good. It was basically Chili/Ramen or Stew/Ramen, and crushed chips (Nacho Cheese Doritos was most popular), plus whatever else you could get a hold of. Usually some type of cheese, although all we had was a bottled cheese sauce, a little mustard, pickles, jalepeno, summer sausage, etc. I’ve been out for over 10 years but I still make it at home, it’s cheap. Here’s my favorite, it’s a little better than what I had in the joint, mainly because of ingredients.

    1 Can of Wolf Brand Chili (no beans)
    1 Package Ramen Noodles (Beef)
    1 Tbsp Mustard
    1 Jalepeno (or about a handful of sliced jalepeno)
    1 cup chopped tomato, or a can of Rotel if you like
    Chips – crush up about 2 handfuls. Doritos work, I also like Hot Fries
    1 Cup Shredded Cheddar, or sometimes I tear up a couple slices of Pepper Jack
    Salt-Pepper-Chili Powder-Garlic Powder – To taste, but take it easy, you can overpower it

    Cook the Ramen Noodes and drain, setting aside the seasoning. Cook the Chili as per the directions, then add the Ramen seasoning, other spices, tomato, jalepeno, and mustard, stir well. Then toss in the noodles and cheese. Return to the microwave for about a minute or until cheese is melted. Once done add the crushed chips and enjoy straight from the bowl or on top of some bread or tortillas. Don’t be afraid to experiment, you don’t go to jail by playing it safe.

  23. i learned how to make these in tehema county jail (nor cal baby) still eat them, now im perfecting the art

  24. I am so surprised to see this on Cheetos website. That’s awesome! When I first learn of spread it was in a California jail about 7 years ago. I think there is better variations to this than what was listed. If you doubt this concoction you are ignorant. It’s very very good, filling and low cost. In jail is like gourmet food. I prefer:

    - 1 pack crunched up Lime & shrimp Ramen noddles
    - 3 almost minced beef sticks(these add lots of flavor!)
    - 1 pack of crunched up cheese crackers(look like Oreo cookies but are cheese crackers cheese filling)
    - 1 pack of Cheetos(Hot Lime Cheetos will add some spice in this combo, considered mild when done)
    - 1 pack of some type of crunched up tortilla chips(cheese Doritos, etc.)

    This is of course cooked the same way. The hardest part is knowing how much hot water to add. After all this is crushed up ad into a garbage bag(yes when brand new they are perfectly clean). The be sure to double bag. Add boiling hot water. Try to avoid hot water from the tap as it can contain unfriendly bacteria(it is not hot enough to kill the bacteria and bacteria lives in warmer water). I would add just enough water so that the mixture is about 1/1 water to food. It will soak fast so be sure to do it quick. Keep some extra chips to throw in if you think you added too much water. If water is very visibly on top of all the food, its probably too much, if no water is above the top of the food, its not enough. Next you will twist the bag tight so the food is as air tight as possible. This next step is important. Once the bag is twisted tight and tied wrap the bag with a towel. This will help it stay warm and will work much faster and stay warmer to serve. Then wait about 10 minutes. It should be done. Many people will add hot sauce and cheese sauce after which is good to depending on what you like. You can eat in tortillas or just with a spoon/spork. Again if you get this down use this as a spread for other foods and surprise the heck out of your friends. It tastes delicious! Enjoy!

  25. Simplest recipe in the world, bomb taste. All ya gotta do is mash up the ramen while it’s still in the bag, pop the bag open, shove the still filled bag into a mug with the open part at the top so the bag’s like a cup inside a cup. Then ya put in a tiny bit of water, shove it in the micro for 90 seconds. Pull the mug out, drop in a scoop of mayo, crunch up some chips and drop em in. Pour in a little salsa or hot sauce. Mix up, grub down. Cleanups a breeze, just toss the bag when it’s empty. Cup’s still clean even, unless you screwed up the bag and it leaked.

    The best ramen to use is a spicy one, but any kind’ll work. Pork rinds are the best, but cheetos or doritos work. Tried it once with ranch doritos cuz that’s all I had, wasn’t too bad actually. Also tried it with corn nuts, sun chips, fritos, potato chips, s’all good.

    If ya really wanna go all out, toss some teriyaki jerky in there. Or the spicy kind, but I like the teriyaki kind better. Party in yer mouth, yo.

    I learned a lot of this from just mixin crap together but my mom actually taught it to me. She was never in jail but I found out years later she’d learned it from her dealer. Saved us huge on food money back then and still saves me today.

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