Apr 012005
 

Submitted By: Brett
Submitted From: Houston, TX, USA

    Ingredients:

  • 3-4 – Ramen soups (spicy or beef)
  • 1 – Squeeze Cheese
  • 1 – Can Chilli no beans
  • 1 – Summer Sausage
  • Couple handfulls of cornchips
  • Couple jalapenos

Note: I am always a sucker for recipes from jail. Also, they let you have hot pots in jail? Sounds more like college to me.

Open all noodles and place inside some type plastic bag (lg. corn chip bag works great). Add cornchips and crush mix thouroughly (don’t leave any large chunks), then add the seasoning packs. Then bring some water to boil in your hotpot. While your water heats up go ahead and slice up your jalapenos and summer sausage. Once the water is hot enough, pour into your bag with the noodle/chip/seasoning mix. Important: add just enough water to come up just below top of mix (don’t drown them).Refill pot and heat can of chilli in it. Knead and work the bag with noodles in it around mixing thouroughly. Once this is done lay bag out and flatten down evenly, making dough/crust. If you’ve done this correctly there shouldn’t be alot of water running out if there is add more crushed chips and mix untill thickens. Fold end of bag, secure with paper clip, and wrap with towel to insulate and let “cook” for about 10 mins. Once done cut bag down middle and bottom and spread open. Noodles should remain in rectangular shape and be stuck together (like dough). Pour your chilli over top and spread evenly (if too runny add a few crushed corn chips to thicken mix. Then comes a layer of squeeze cheese, topped with summer sausage and jalapenos. Slice evenly and enjoy with your cell mates. Yum.

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  36 Responses to “Jailhouse Ramen Pizza”

  1. uhh yea you can have pots in jail, well more like hot plates. how did you think they could eat their ramen if they didnt have pots? ramen noodles is a staple food for all people in the US prison system. they survive on eating ramen noodles ;)

  2. I know this recipe! My stepdad was in jail last year. It’s called “Jailhouse Burritos”! Nice! They aren’t very yummy to look at. But they taste pretty darn awesome!

  3. I was in jail once and we did not cook the Ramen in a pot, we microwaved them in a cup. I didn’t have the luxury of all the ingredients mentioned in the recipe, so what I did was mash up a bunch of Cheeto’s and made cheese Ramen……..delicious!

  4. I am a correctional officer in the county in which I live. This is one of the favorite meals the inmates here. Our guys add cheetos though. Ive always wanted to try it but I would never tell them that.

  5. In jail this is commonly referred to as “spread”. When I was in jail I worked in the kitchen so we made some amazing spreads. We would put all inds of leftovers in it, from bologne to chicken to beans and rice. Everydody makes it different, and everybody thought theirs was the best. I still eat it and I have been out of jail for a while now.

  6. IVE GOT ANOTHER KICK ASS RECIPE FOR YOU: TAKE TWO CHICKEN SOUPS CRUSH THEM IN THIER OWN BAG ADD SEASONING PACKETS HOLD TOP AND SHAKE THEM UP; MEANWHILE WHILE YOUR HOTPOT IS HEATING UP, CUT UP TWO JALAPENOS VERY FINE, JUST USE THE BLADE OUT OF AN UNUSED RAZOR. YOU WILL ALSO NEED TO BUY SOME DRIED BEANS, A POUCH OF TUNA AND TORTILLAS FROM THE COMMISARRY. WHEN YOUR WATER IS GOOD AND BOILING IN YOUR CONTRABAND HOTPOT, TAKE YOUR SOUPS AND PLACE THEM IN THE BOWL ,SPRINKLE THE DRIED BEANS OVER THE TOP THEN PUT IN YOUR PEPPERS AND DRAINED TUNA. POUR JUST ENOUGH WATER TO COVER THE TOP OF THE NOODLES AND STIR.COVER AND LET THE SOUPS SWELL UP STIR AND COVER AGAIN FOR A COUPLE OF MORE MINUTES TAKE THE TORTILLAS LEAVE THEM IN THE BAG AND PUT THEM IN THE REMAINING WATER IN THE HOTPOT, ONCE THEY GET WARM GET THEM OUT AND MAKE SOME OF THE BEST DAMN SEAFOOD TACOS YOUVE EVER HAD. ENJOY

  7. i was locked up in cook county jail for 7 mounths and was king of the dips (spreads) or whatever eles you call it its all nigger food anyways and ive learened how to make some fire ass dips lets just say i never went hungry and never paid for shit lol its a good lick to learn if your in the joint for a while if your a good cook people will ask you to cook for em and we didnt have hot pots we used plastic bottles and fire to heat water and the tobaco cases as cookers on the beds shit fuckers eat anything when locked up plus it tastes damn good my fav was pizza dips man that shit was fire!!!!

  8. the jail in my county don’t give you hot plates. they give you hot water from the sink and a ramen pack. plus the pack costs like a dollar. i’ve never seen anything sadder in my life. abyways this sounds like a great recipe for a person who’s never seen a jail cell before. JAIL PIZZA AND JAPANESE SAMURAI MOVIES!!! YAY!!!

  9. I am in jail in Ozaukee County (Wisconsin) and we have to use the shower water for our Ramen (it is the kind in a cup with vegetables) and instant coffee. We make jailhouse burritos with crushed ramen, crushed nacho tostados, jalepeno cheese squeeze, crushed “cheetos”, and beef sticks. Like someone says, they are not attractive, but they taste awesome compared to most of the jail meals! :) I’ve got to say, I’ve never put hot sauce on so much before coming to jail…cheetos, cheese popcorn, mashed potatoes, tater-tot casserole, etc…

  10. Yeah Spread is sweet but have you ever had a pecker wood pie?? get a hunny bun peanut butter cho cho mix snickers bar nutter butter m & m’s and that about it just take peanut butter and cho cho mix and mix it together then spread that on the honey bun then smash the snickers set that on top then the nutter butter then put more of the pb and cho cho mix on top and pop sum m&m on there….. thats a pecker wood pie……what what lol

  11. look where i was at in the luoisville jail…we didnt have hardly any of that shit. you get some ramen. crunch the hell out of the noodles. put em in a chip bag, add ur spice pack and shake it up.then crunch in chips of ur choice and shake well again. you get a styrofoam cup full of hot water and just under a full cup was about right. then u pour in water and rubber band up til the noodles “blow up”.hence the name, blow up in our correctional facilities. sometimes u add the bologna from your zaebo’s which is the sandwich/cookie lunch we sometimes get. i still eat it even though im on the street now.

  12. OMG we call it a big boy where im from. If you make it rite it is soooooooooooooooooooooo good.

  13. DAMN……I’VE BEEN LOCK UP IN COUNTY A FEW TIMES (MAYBE TO MANY TIMES) BUT SHIT I HATE TOP RAMON AND RICE BECAUSE OF THAT. GET A HOOK UP IN THE KITCHEN TO GET SOME REAL DAMN FOOD. ONCE YOU DO ,YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO TO CHOW AND EAT THERE SHIT!!!

  14. the peckerwood pies are the best, but if you’re locked up in orange county, extra mayonnaise, refried frijoles, macaroni salad(sack lunches), a dab of kool aid, jalapeno pretzel pieces, and MANDATORY CRACKLINS(pork rinds) are the ingredients left out to make a bomby ass vagina spread

  15. i did a few years in tx state, we used to make all kinds of casseroles, pies, chili macs, burritos & snack mixes out of our “smack” ramen. they were really good, but the kitchen food sucked so bad of course ramen was delicious!
    my favorite was tuna casserole; tuna, chicken ramen, crushed tortilla chips, jalopeno squeeze cheese, “mayo”, diced pickle & jalopeno.mix it all up in a big ol bowl. crush more chips & sprinkle over the top.

    we didnt have hot pots, just a single faucet that had HOT water. we also made “cheesecakes” out of powder milk & strawberry soda or sprite, with a graham cracker crust or generic oreo. it was pretty good stuff. our “spreads” (they were called that there too) were pretty elaborate. usaully six or seven different dishes and a few pies. makes ya fat!! but it wasnt so bad definitely helped to pass the time.

  16. My boyfriend is in Prison in Caldwell, OH. I just went to visit him and he calls them breaks. they don’t get hotpots, they use a microwave for everything. They take a tortilla, lay it out, then they cook up some macaroni noodles until they’re super soggy. Leave a little water in the noodles and add crushed crackers. Make that into a paste and flatten it over the tortilla. Cook that as the crust. Then they add some pizza sauce, some cheese, and they cut up some pepperoni with their ID badges and it’s pizza. They also make energy drinks, coffee, koolaid, and pop mixed together. He said even when he gets out, he’ll eat jailhouse pizza and drink the energy drinks. He’d take that pizza over Pizza Hut anyday. I can’t wait for him to make it for me when he gets home! :)

  17. that not how you make it it’s sorta like that i’ve made it before and i know what it is and how to make it altough it’s sond more like a spred then a pizza

  18. 1 bag of chili or beef ramen , drained , add 1 small can of chili with or without beans , a decent squeeze of cheese sauce or some smunched up cheetos , hot sauce and spoon the amazing mix unto tortilla shells and fold , my kids love them minus the hot sauce

  19. We done call it a cook up where i’m from, sometimes I like to piss and shit in the bag for some extra flav.

  20. [...] else going on. We’re trying to set up a rifle range day with Zach and Nacho 2 weeks from now. An interesting recipe for “ramen pizza” that can be made while you’re in jail. (NOTE: the comment section of that link contains copious [...]

  21. the jails Ive been in dont even allow hot plates or pots… you have to get the hottest water you can out of sink and let it cook.

  22. I was in Prison in London Ohio. We all made “Foxys”. It was basically made with about 3/4 to 1 cup of Grape or Cherry Drink mix, Instant Coffee (about 1 to 2 tbsp), and usually mountain dew, or sunkist (about 1/2 to a whole can depending on the size of the cup/container you use) . Some liked pepsi but I thought it was horrible. Of couse we all made “Breaks” as well with ramen noodles, and just about everything you could think of. I knew a guy who liked to add sardines and mustard to plain noodles lol. The other favorite of ours was “Ultimate Nachos”. We just emptied a whole bag of nacho cheese tortillas, a whole bottle of squeeze cheese, a couple diced summer sausages, hot sauce, veggie beans, and whatever else sounds good. Email me at Bvillebum@myspace.com if you have anymore prison cooking recipies or if you have any questions in general. Ive got about 30 years experience so hit me up. -Grillbilly- PS- Its gonna be a good day tater

  23. damn I used to eat the hell out of those ‘spreads’. Me and a celly used to make 4 soup spreads all the damn time. Top ‘em with sandwich spread or chili with party mix on top. He had all the monies and I worked commissary, so no spend limit! We’d make cakes out of the duplex cookies by scraping out the icing with our Ids, smashing up the cookies with some hot water, then mix the icing with a “little” hot water and smoothing on top. Then proceed to the toilet. HaHa I think our equivalent in TDCJ, of a “Foxy”, Grillbilly, was a “Purdy”. Take one strong ass cup of coffee, smash up a mint stick and however much candy you can stand, and POW!. Sometimes we’d mix soda with it but not always.
    And since I couldn’t stand the taste of sweet and low, I drank my coffee with two crushed butterscotch discs.

    As some old school I knew put it “In the world you eat to live, In Jail you live to eat.” What else did we have to look forward to.

  24. I first went to jail at 16. Didn’t get out till 29. The first week, the guys from the set made a DIP. It was the most horrible thing I had ever seen being created! But it was soooooo good.

    2 Packs of Carl Buddig sliced meat.
    1 Pack of Philly Cream Cheese
    1 Scope of Kool-Aid. (this was of the pre-sweetened variety. comes in a big bag)
    Add chili-cheese corn chips or Doritos if you like.

    Meat must be minced up with a hard plastic shower shoe while still in the package. use your shank if you don’t have the shoe. Place meat in bowl with Cream Cheese and Kool-Aid and add just a little bit of water at a time to make it stir-able. Spread it on bread, crackers or eat from the bowl. Just make sure your cellie get’s his first or you will get yours homie.

    PS. I Hated Cook County jail. Not that I would like any jail.

  25. Sorry, don’t forget to add the chips to your dip!

  26. Was in Cook County Jail for 14 months. Everyone put in on the dips. But the mexicans would make this fire ass soup. Does anyone have that recipe? It had rice and beans, doritos, ketchup, and I don’t know what else but it was sooooo fire! Need some AA here.

  27. [...] House Ramen Pizza Recipe Found this at a Ramen Noodle Fan Site run by Matt F, and they have more recipes I’m going to get out to my audience. I copied and [...]

  28. Man that’s really talk I was locked up in tdc for 6 years on a 10 the day I remans kept me going I made a bad ass spread for my girl and kids like a week after I got out and now its like a ever week thing for us and I’ve been out for 2 years now just wish I could find some where to buy salsa verdes they are the shit on a spread but u can get most of the same shit u get in tdc at thedollar tree ain’t that a bitch pay a dollar in the free world 5 dollars in prison

  29. Butterfinger Toffee: Take big square plastic tub (Bout 1 foot x 8 inches), layout whole saltine crackers flat on bottom 2 layers high. Lay down a layer of graham crackers on top of saltines, then one more layer of saltines on top of graham crackers. Melt a half a 15oz tub of gold n’ soft margerine with about a cup of sugar, pour it on top of all crackers, put tub in microwave for 1 and half minutes, cover let stand. Melt 3 bags of individual caramels in a bowl with 3 individual hazelnut creamers poured in also, pour/spread out on top. Melt extra large hersheys bar (about 4 regular hersheys bars worth) and spread on top. Crush up a butterfinger and sprinkle it on top. BOMB!
    Did 4 stints in the womens prison in washington state…still have my girl mail me some prison commisary on occasion so I can get excited about cooking.. ;)

  30. man these spreads were good. Me celly used to make them. He could mix anything with the leftover stuff. He was always getting extra from the other guys. Texas

  31. Down south we call em slams. Cheese curls, summer sausage and all the other good stuff like Andrea said^^. My thing though is the ramen chips, we have microwaves and they dehydrate food really well, so what you do is take however many packs of noodles you like. You can get a few cellys to throw in on it and make a ton, but it takes time. Anyhow take your noodles and crush them up add the seasoning packets and some hot sauce or whatever sauce you feel brave with and just enough water to cover them as the goal is to evaporate all water. Now just cook the sh1j out of them. You have to constantly stir the noodles or they will burn. When it is all said and done you will have crisp noodles that are perfect for a game night. Peace Homies

  32. I have the recipe for a fatty girl cake – (or fatty boy cake) – lol

    use a saltine box flat on it’s side… cover the inside with plastic for the cake to sit on. Crunch up 10 Oatmeal cookies mixed with tablespoon of water, layer the bottom of the box with that… next layer is Rasberry Long John (or similar) broken up and mixed with cream cheese cakes (use 1 long john per 2 individual cr. cheese cakes), after mixing it should look like cookie dough – flatten it out for the next layer… then crumble up 2 nutty bars and layer that across… next layer is 2 more cr. cheese cakes and 2 brownies… mash them together that makes a layer… next layer is peanut butter and fluff mixed, then another layer of nutty bars… finally – mix a hot chocolate packet, with a few tsps of creamer, some sugar, and small amount of water – that is the frosting… if it is too thin – add more creamer. Decorate with caramel candies (ripped in strips), duplex cookies crushed and melt a chocolate bar and drizel chocolate over cake… makes about 10 servings… and the girls told me it was the BEST Fatty girl cake they ever had. Enjoy!

    I have been to the women’s facility in Connecticut a bunch of times… there is no access to a microwave (man that would have made the place livable)… sounds like there are better prisons than the one I attended at least for COMMISSARY food… we couldn’t get butter or cream cheese… sure a type of margarine (one ingredient away from plaster) could be taken from the CHOW HALL – if you had a good connect… but usually that isn’t available.

  33. I love the ramen spreads! Making the burritos and baked potatoes are so good! The cheesecakes are good and easy to make. Graham cracker crust. About 40 creamer packets mixed with strawberry fanta, and a melted candy bar. Enjoy

  34. I’ll probably be in there soon so thx for all the recipes!

  35. Hey…. Another amazing ramen meal is FRIED noodles……
    Take dry noodles and put in bowl with a SPLASH of water. Also have a cup of water setting in microwave.
    Microwave for 1 minute 15…. Take out, stirr in a TINY BIT more water(you will hear the noodles sizzle) and heat for another 45 seconds. once done, add a tiny bit more water and seasoning.. This taste amazing! Especially with Geisha Tuna.

  36. names for jailhouse ramen recipes vary regionally — cook-ups, dips, spreads, breaks, big boys, foxys, slams… http://t.co/YooHsyFofF

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